How to avoid F*CK IT mentality during the Holidays

The Holidays are in full swing which means that social engagements (and everything that comes with it - food, alcohol, sweets) have likely ramped up. And depending on your outlook - this can either be a very exciting or very stressful time of year.

A common question I have been getting in client sessions over the past couple of weeks has revolved around “staying on track” and maintaining the healthy habit momentum during this time of the year. AKA, how to avoid going into F*CK IT mode.

Let me first explain what on earth I mean by f*ck it mode. If you prefer the PC version, we can refer to it as an “all-or-nothing” mindset. Having an "all or nothing" mentality refers to a mindset where things are viewed in extreme terms—either you succeed perfectly, or you consider it a complete failure. It's like saying, "If I can't do it perfectly, then why bother at all?"

Imagine you set a goal to eat healthier, and you slip up and have a piece of cake. With an all-or-nothing mentality, you might think, "Well, I've ruined my diet now, might as well eat the whole cake!" This approach can be counterproductive because it doesn't allow for the natural ups and downs that come with any goal.

In a more balanced mindset, you would acknowledge the small setback, but not let it derail your entire effort. You might say, "Okay, I had a piece of cake, but that doesn't mean I can't make healthier choices for the rest of the day or week."

This mentality often stems from a desire for perfection and can lead to feelings of frustration, guilt, or even giving up altogether. Life is full of gray areas, and not every setback needs to be seen as a catastrophe.

So, it's about finding that middle ground, being kind to yourself, and recognizing that progress is often a journey with a few bumps along the way.

Progress is NOT linear. Instead of all or nothing, think of it as a spectrum where every small step forward counts. It's about the effort and progress, not just the end result.

Now that we’re clear on the definition, keep reading for my tips on how to avoid slipping into this self-sabotaging thought spiral this Holiday season:

Stop putting the Holidays on a pedestal

The tendency to put the holidays on a pedestal can contribute significantly to all-or-nothing thinking/f*ck it mentality. Many people have high expectations for the holidays, envisioning them as a time of perfection, joy, and indulgence; a special occasion that warrants special treatment. This idealization can set the stage for unrealistic standards and a black-and-white approach to holiday experiences. You can eat whatever foods you want at any point throughout the year. Read that again. You have unconditional permission to consume pumpkin pie and gingerbread YEAR ROUND… not just during the Holiday season.

Don't eat foods you don't enjoy just because it's the holidays

This one seems silly. But I often hear people say that they ate something they didn’t like just because it was in front of their face… and then felt guilty about it. It’s somewhat of an extension of my first point - putting the holidays on a pedestal. This mindset can contribute to the belief that if you're not indulging in everything (including the foods you don’t actually like), you're missing out on the essence of the holiday.

Ultimately, the holidays are a time to create positive memories, enjoy good company, and relish delicious foods. Opting for foods you genuinely enjoy enhances the holiday experience and contributes to a more authentic and joyful celebration. It's perfectly reasonable to prioritize your own enjoyment and well-being during this festive season.

Back to basics

Anyone who works with my 1-1 knows I preach this. The basics aren’t sexy, but they work best when done consistently over long periods of time.

Eat within 1-2 hours upon waking up, and every 3-4 hours throughout the day. Hydrate adequately. Get 7-8 hours of sleep nightly. Get morning sunlight. Eat protein, veggies, and fruit. Manage stress. Move your body. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that!

Non-negotiables

Let’s be real - nothing is perfect during the Holidays or when you’re traveling. Setting the expectation that it will be perfect only ever leads to stress, overwhelm, and of course the all-or-nothing thinking we are trying to avoid. Instead, I encourage my clients to pick 2-3 non-negotiables that they can stick with over the Holidays.

Think about habits that make a huge impact if you aren’t consistent, and start there! Some examples - eating an element of protein with each meal, drinking an 8-oz glass of water between cocktails, daily movement, gratitude journaling, 7-8 hours of sleep, no phones before bedtime, model at least 1 meal per day off the plate method, etc. Get creative but make sure they are realistic.

Keep a normal routine most of the time

Try to resist the urge to completely let go of your normal routine just because it’s the Holiday season. This means waking up around the same time, eating when you’re hungry & stopping when you’re full, moving your body, getting adequate sleep and hydration, and being proactive about stress management, and eating food off of an actual plate.

Using a plate can be a simple yet effective strategy to prevent overeating, and it ties into the principles of portion control and mindful eating. Eating without a plate may lead to continuous grazing, where you keep reaching for more without realizing how much you've consumed. A plate encourages a more structured and intentional approach to eating, reducing the likelihood of continuous snacking.

Capitalize on the moments you can control

Anticipate social events and plan your approach. If you know there will be indulgent foods, plan to balance them with healthier options before or after the event. Ideally, you would emphasize having balanced meals with protein and produce throughout the day. And please, for the love of god, do not “save up calories” so you can eat more at Holiday parties/dinners. This ALWAYS BACKFIRES because you allow yourself to get too low on the hunger & fullness scale, and you’re body initiates an “unsupervised child in a candy store” mentality to compensate.

Stop mentally self-sabotaging

If you do indulge more than planned, don't be too hard on yourself. In reality, a couple over-indulgences do not erase the progress you have made. What matters is how you react after this happens. Do you dwell on it - tell yourself that you’re a failure and that you’ll never reach your goals so you might as well just give up? Or do you acknowledge the fact that you overate and it didn’t make you feel all that awesome… and move on with your day. Remember that a healthy lifestyle is about consistency over time, not perfection in every moment.

It's important to recognize that imperfections, ups and downs are a normal part of making behavior changes. Embrace the idea that holidays can be enjoyable without conforming to an idealized version. Flexibility, adaptability, and a focus on the meaningful aspects of the season can help create a more balanced and realistic perspective. Remember that the true essence of the holidays lies in the joy of shared moments and connections, not in achieving an unattainable standard of perfection.